Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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