who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
