He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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