You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
