when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
