I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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