No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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