Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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