you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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