Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
