This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize