tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
