How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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