Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
