You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
