Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i now understand why vodka
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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