We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
