just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
