I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
