His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
