Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm like, not good at living.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize