it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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