Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
