Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
