He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it's like heaven, but drunker
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
