i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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