Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize