I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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