Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
