When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
