I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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