mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
