Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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