First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
