i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
