they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
