She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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