And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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