no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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