are you still at the devil's house?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
