How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
