R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
