i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
