whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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