help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
please come you make the beer taste better
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you inspire me to be a worse person
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
