I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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