If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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