I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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