I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Panties = found
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
