if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
