Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
