What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
