So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
