Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
