OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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