Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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