Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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