Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think I sprained my soul last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
