i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
