when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
