I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize