I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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