dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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